It’s a weird experience to be a part of a privileged visible minority. People notice you no matter how hard you try to blend in. They recognize you even if you’ve never actually met. They honk at you and call out to you and try to get your attention. They talk about you under their breath (or sometimes out loud in front of your face). They watch out for you because they aren’t sure you know how to navigate their country and they want you to feel safe and welcome. They conspire to take you down a notch because you look like a walking wallet, even if you are living on a volunteer stipend.
I first became acutely aware of my new status as visible minority when a teacher at work mentioned that she sees me walking to work every day – I’m the only white person she passes on her drive in. Since then, I’ve been mistaken more than once for another white person. One boy in the after-school program at the Y keeps asking me to take out my contact lenses to prove that my eyes are blue-green and not actually brown. I get called “Whitey” as often as I get called “Sweetie” by cat-callers in the street.
This isn’t the first time I’ve experienced being a part of a visible minority, but it will be the longest time I’ve spent in this circumstance. As I ease into the ‘culture shock’ element of my adventure, the feeling of being on display grows more and more uncomfortable.
My privileges add a sharp edge to my discomfort. I chose this experience, while visible minorities the world over often have less autonomy over their racial circumstances. Any time I feel tired of being a visible minority, I can escape via the media and entertainment industry; this year’s Academy Awards showed this isn’t necessarily the case for other races. Thanks to many complex biases, I generally get treated very well as a white person; non-white visible minorities throughout the world usually do not enjoy this special treatment.
It’s pretty easy to be cynical about my discomfort with being a visible minority. It feels very precious to squirm under the gaze of those around me; even writing about this aspect of my experience feels like white guilt. I haven’t yet figured my way through this part of my life in Jamaica, and I’m not sure my experience of privilege and my experience as a visible minority will ever be separate. For now, I am approaching both with humbleness and patience, and I hope I will learn some big truths as I stumble along.
March 21, 2016 at 7:07 pm
This is very, very interesting. Most white people visiting Jamaica are likely tourists staying at resort areas and wouldn”t have a clue.
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March 23, 2016 at 8:59 pm
The tourists really stand out… not many of them in Kingston!
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March 22, 2016 at 12:02 am
Hi Christine,
I’ve been enjoying your blogs very much – interesting and informative. David said you told him “someone in NZ is reading my blog” … yup, that was me! (Fabulous trip!). I’ve only experienced being a visible minority when on vacation – perhaps the most noticeable was several years ago in Barbados when, at times, we stuck out like a sore thumb! But, we too experienced the care and thoughtfulness of locals “watching out” to make sure we were ok. Talk to David about “blending in” when he was doing pedestrian counts in Shanghai! My (blonde) niece lived in China for a while and ended up dying her hair black to stop people constantly touching it to see if it was real. I’m sure people will get used to seeing you around as you become more familiar. One day, hopefully soon, you will be just Christine – the same way a Jamacan would become another worker in your office here.
PS: I read the one about cockroaches. It reminded me of meeting up with the critters during our various stays in Florida. And, not long after I read your blog, I saw some very large ones in Sydney, fortunately outdoors. But, still … ugh!
L.
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March 23, 2016 at 8:56 pm
I’m so glad you’re enjoying the blog! Thanks for the advice and the commiseration. Looking forward to hearing all about your trip down under! C xo
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March 22, 2016 at 1:10 pm
It sounds like you are at the start of some amazing self-awareness and shifts in consciousness. What an exciting and scary time. I wish you luck as you continue on this path.
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March 22, 2016 at 1:35 pm
Thank you for your kind words!
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